Baptism of Fire

I’ve always struggled with how many religions deal with forgiveness. In Christianity, to make your way into heaven, you must only accept Jesus into your heart and he will absolve you of all wrongdoing. This always seemed like a con to me. Simply believe what I tell you and you will have paradise. Why even bother to struggle and understand creation if it is that easy to get the ultimate reward? So much corruption and hypocrisy seems to stem from this.

There is an entropy to all things man-made, including religions. This message of forgiveness has been corrupted by church and priest far before it ever reached my ears.  I have only begun to reconcile it in my own mind through much reflection.

Being taken advantage of in my own life has been central to my own understanding. Time and time again, I would find myself in conflicts with some of the closest people in my life. Some sort of catharsis would be reached to give the false idea of an understanding. In truth, nothing had changed. The same sins against each other would be committed. Catharsis would be that much harder to reach the next time.

In order to truly end this vicious cycle, repentance must be given and forgiveness received. This is the same logic behind the practice of heretics and witches being spared if they admitted they had sinned. Forgiveness without repentance harms both. For the forgiver, only more disappointment awaits him. For the person being forgiven, she has cheated herself a chance to transcend her sins.

If no understanding can ever be reached, one must bear the suffering. If this is unbearable, the only action left is to severe the bond.

Without wisdom and truth, only suffering is possible. Wisdom is not easy to attain. It requires constant vigilance and much contemplation.

Only forgive those who have repented and understand their sins. For those where this is impossible, pity them.



Every so often, there is a mold that grows on my shower curtain. At least I think it is a mold. It’s the vaguely pink stuff that grows in damp places if you don’t nuke it with chemicals every couple of weeks.

Now my shower curtain isn’t really something I fret about. I pull it back once a day, in the wee hours of the morning when I am half asleep. I don’t really stand there and closely inspect to see if anything strange is growing on it. I’m a very utilitarian person. Unless something affects my day to day routine, I simply do not notice it. It’s not like I don’t care. It just never pops up on my radar.

Today is one of those days where I noticed it. I was cleaning my bathroom and as I went to pull back the curtain to clean the bath tub I saw all of this pink shit. I thought to myself, “how can I be such a careless person? There is a science experiment living on my shower curtain.” So I sprayed and sprayed away at it. After half an hour, I came back into my bathroom, which smelled of chemicals, and rinsed away the filth. It’s not like you can scrub a shower curtain effectively.

Lo and behold, the pink shit had gone away. It’s no where near pristine. I’d have to buy a new curtain for that. Instead, I’ll settle for no pink and continue to use it for another six months until I stumble across another plastic shower curtain at my local super store for $1.99.

I can’t help but think that so many thing follow a similar cycle: politics, jobs, fitness, friendships, relationships, hobbies. We simply put up with it until we decide “no more”.